How do I Choose a Therapist?!

To choose a therapist, start by getting clear on two things before you ever open a search engine: what you're hoping to get out of therapy, and who the safest and most comfortable people in your life are. Answering these questions first significantly increases the likelihood of a successful therapy journey, because your goals point you toward the right kind of specialist. And any true-for-you answer is enough, even "I just don't know, but I know I need help."

TL;DR

Before searching, ask yourself what you hope to get out of therapy and who feels safest to you
Your answer becomes a north star that guides you through the pain of change toward your goals
Therapists who specialize in skills training or life-coaching can help with communication, confidence, and self-kindness
Therapists trained in neurodiversity (ADHD, Autism, Bipolar Disorder) can make a real difference for neurodiverse clients
Overwhelming feelings like anxiety, depression, or hopelessness are good reasons to seek someone trained in managing them
Compulsive behaviors are usually coping mechanisms, and specialists can help you build healthier ones

Part 1: What am I Hoping to Get Out of This?

Choosing a therapist can feel complicated and overwhelming; you’re probably struggling with where to start. When we’re facing the unknown, those first steps are scary. This is especially true when we’re already under stress or trying to “fix” ourselves. So, let’s talk about it!

We recommend asking yourself two questions before you even open your search engine or login to your insurance platform:

1) What am I hoping to get out of this?

2) Who are the safest and most comfortable people in my life?

By thinking about these two questions from the very beginning, you significantly increase the likelihood of a successful therapy journey. Let’s start with the first one:

What am I hoping to get out of this?

You might be considering therapy simply to feel better, or it could be as complicated as needing to heal from extreme trauma, or anything in between. Getting clarity around what is motivating you is helpful. You can think of this moment right now, when you’re telling yourself I need help, as your north star; it will point your way through the pain of change into the beauty of reaching your ultimate goals.

Some ideas to help you focus:

Do you want to learn a life skill, whether emotional or practical? If you want to be clearer in your communication, or more secure in your relationships, or kinder to yourself, or if you struggle to stay confident and motivated in your goals, a licensed therapist who specializes in skills training or life-coaching can help you discover the source(s) of what’s holding you back, and build a tool-box of inspiring strategies to take the next steps.
Do you have a neurodiversity diagnosis like ADHD, Autism, or Bipolar Disorder? Whether you were diagnosed in childhood or just last week, living as a neurodiverse person in an often inflexible world can be a struggle. Therapists with experience and training in neurodiversity can absolutely change your life, in ways both concrete and intangible.
Do you have overwhelming feelings? If you’re suffering from anxiety, stress, sadness, hopelessness, overthinking, ruminating, loneliness, depression, shame, fear, unexplained crying, negative thoughts about yourself and/or others, feeling unworthy, or just plain tired all the time – whether or not you know why – it can be very helpful to talk with someone who’s trained in how to understand and manage these outsize responses.
Do you feel controlled by a behavior you want to stop? Did you know that addictions are almost always coping mechanisms our brains developed to process unmet needs? Compulsive behaviors can plague anyone; humans are amazingly creative at finding unhealthy ways to cope. If you’ve found yourself over-eating, or starving yourself, or drinking alcohol, or using drugs, or biting your fingernails, or pulling out your hair, or doing anything that you don’t want to do but can’t seem to stop, there are specialists who can help you figure out why you do it, and develop healthier, more effective habits to replace the problematic ones.

Ask yourself, “What am I hoping to get out of this?" until you have an answer. Any true-for-you answer is enough. It can even be, “I’ve thought about this, and I just don’t know, but I know I need help.” Or it can be very, very specific.

Do you have an answer? Good work! You’re ready to start thinking about who you want to work with.

FAQ - Your Questions Answered

Where do I start when choosing a therapist?

Before you open a search engine or log in to your insurance platform, ask yourself two questions: what am I hoping to get out of this, and who are the safest and most comfortable people in my life? Thinking these through from the very beginning significantly increases the likelihood of a successful therapy journey.

What if I don't know what I want from therapy?

That's okay. Any true-for-you answer is enough, even "I've thought about this, and I just don't know, but I know I need help." Simply recognizing that you need support is a valid starting point, and a good therapist can help you clarify your goals from there.

Should I look for a specialist if I have ADHD or Autism?

If you have a neurodiversity diagnosis like ADHD, Autism, or Bipolar Disorder, a therapist with experience and training in neurodiversity can make a meaningful difference, whether you were diagnosed in childhood or just last week. Living as a neurodiverse person in an often inflexible world can be a struggle, and the right specialist understands that.

Can therapy help with overwhelming feelings like anxiety or depression?

Yes. If you're dealing with anxiety, stress, hopelessness, ruminating, depression, shame, or just feeling tired all the time, whether or not you know why, it can be very helpful to talk with someone who's trained in how to understand and manage these outsize responses.

What if I can't stop a behavior I want to stop?

Addictions and compulsive behaviors are almost always coping mechanisms our brains developed to process unmet needs. Whether it's over-eating, drinking, nail-biting, or anything else you don't want to do but can't seem to stop, there are specialists who can help you figure out why you do it and develop healthier, more effective habits to replace it.

How do I find out who I'd be working with?

Once you know what you're hoping to get out of therapy, the next step is thinking about who you want to work with. You can meet our team to read about each therapist's background and specialties, or browse our services to see what kinds of support are available.